54-year-old dad spends $130K set aside for his grandchildren's education on a boat because his adult children don't have kids, adult children freak out: 'They admitted that they expected me to leave them a good inheritance.'

Author image for Emmy Pratt
Emmy Pratt • Senior Editor
Jan 28, 2026 11:00 AM EST

He has helped them so much; he deserves to have some fun for himself!

Inheritance is one of those things that is not frequently discussed in polite society, and for good reasons. It's kind of a morbid reality that fortunate young people can come into a great sum of money after the passing of their grandparents or parents. No aging person wants their kids and grandkids to be waiting around for them to pass away, hungry to get a piece of the fortune they've been building up over the years. Putting a monetary value on your relationship with your familial elders eats away at your soul. It's best to try and enjoy the time you have with your elders for as long as you can, because once they're gone, you'll finally know that their presence was worth more than all the money in the world. 

If you come from a family without generational wealth, you might feel bitter about people who are able to finance their entire life on windfalls from inheritance. After all, someone who gets $2M from an eccentric uncle didn't work hard to achieve their riches. Even if they had a close relationship with their late family member, that's not tantamount to doing the amount of work it would take to make $2M from nothing. Inheritance only really benefits the people who were set up to succeed in society from the day they were born. A ton of people who receive inheritances had their college tuition paid for by their parents, grew up upper-middle class, and would've been well-off financially even without receiving life-changing amounts of money from a loved one beyond the grave. 

The truth is that nobody is entitled to anyone else's money. It doesn't matter how much they think they deserve that money. It certainly doesn't matter how much extra money someone has to give. Any money that anyone gifts you should never be seen as a guarantee. The adult children in this story should know that their dad's money is not theirs for the taking, but that hasn't quite sunk in yet. 

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  • A man standing on the deck of a sailboat
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • Am I the bad guy for spending some of my grandchildren's education funds on a new boat?

    I am 54 and I have two kids. They are both married and in their mid and late thirties.
    via u/Tiny_Occasion_322
  • We have a decent relationship I think. My wife and I made sure both got through college without debt.
    via u/Tiny_Occasion_322
  • I helped both purchase their first homes with a $20,000 gift. No strings attached. When my son moved away for his wife's work I helped him pack.
    via u/Tiny_Occasion_322
  • They alternate Christmas between me and their in-laws. This last Christmas was my turn. We has a nice visit and then the five of us, their spouses were included, had a talk.
    via u/Tiny_Occasion_322
  • I didn't press, I didn't push, I just asked if they still planned on starting families.
    via u/Tiny_Occasion_322
  • My kids looked at each other like they had been waiting for this. Please note my son, the older one, has been married for eleven years.
    via u/Tiny_Occasion_322
  • I guess this was something they all talked about without including me. They said that they were happy with their lives and that kids weren't really something they wanted to bring into the world.
    via u/Tiny_Occasion_322
  • I asked about adopting. They both said it wasn't something they considered. They are adults and they can live however they want.
    via u/Tiny_Occasion_322
  • I would love grandchildren but I don't feel I'm owed them. I literally live five minutes from my brother and I see his grandchildren all the time.
    via u/Tiny_Occasion_322
  • I like that I can leave when they get loud. I had money set aside to help with my grandchildren's education.
    via u/Tiny_Occasion_322
  • Now I knew it wasn't needed for that purpose. So I bought myself a new boat.
    via u/Tiny_Occasion_322
  • Sold my old one. Yes I am well aware that a boat is a hole in the water you throw money into.
    via u/Tiny_Occasion_322
  • Don't care. I can afford it. My kids saw pictures of my new boat on Facebook.
    via u/Tiny_Occasion_322
  • They asked why I upgraded from our old family boat. I was truthful and said that I wanted a new boat and that money had opened up in my budget.
    via u/Tiny_Occasion_322
  • They asked what money. I said that since they weren't having kids there was no purpose for an education fund.
    via u/Tiny_Occasion_322
  • They both went kind of nuts. They said I was crazy for spending $130,000 on a boat at my age.
    via u/Tiny_Occasion_322
  • I said that my retirement funds were still topped up and I hadn't asked them for any help so I didn't see their issue.
    via u/Tiny_Occasion_322
  • After a lot of back and forth they admitted that they kind of expected me to leave them a good inheritance.
    via u/Tiny_Occasion_322
  • I almost lost my head. I'm only fifty four Hopefully I have a couple of decades more to enjoy life.
    via u/Tiny_Occasion_322
  • A man standing on the deck of a boat
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • I said that they could have whatever was left after I finished with it. But that I didn't actually owe them anything now and that they were kind of assholes for planning on my money.
    via u/Tiny_Occasion_322
  • Should I have continued holding on to money that was never going to be used for it's intended purpose?
    via u/Tiny_Occasion_322
  • InternetNo7488 ENJOY YOUR BOAT! NTA.
    via u/InternetNo7488
  • Tiny Occasion_322 Original Poster's Reply I will.
    via u/Tiny_Occasion_322
  • drowning_in_cats When I first read your title, I thought "what an AH for raiding the grand-babies' money." I was wrong. NTA. Your money to put in whatever hole you want (subject to approval from your spouse). Edited to add: "so to speak"
    via u/drowning_in_cats
  • Tiny Occasion_322 Original Poster's Reply I'm a widower. She would have loved the boat.
    via u/Tiny_Occasion_322
  • AlvinOwlHirt Went through this with my sister before my mom died. She fought tooth and nail over every single penny my mom wanted to spend-- while also hitting her up for $5k or more a month--because she wanted a large inheritance. Personally, I'd rather have mom back.
    via u/AlvinOwlHirt
  • Tiny_Occasion_322 Original Poster's Reply I'm sorry you went through that kid. Family is hard sometimes.
    via u/Tiny_Occasion_322
  • MidnightPositive485 NTA. If they aren't having kids, WTF do they need an inheritance for? If they are just going to eventually going to blow it on themselves, you might as well enjoy it instead, you worked for it. They have plenty of time to earn and spend their own fun money.
    via u/MidnightPositive485
  • Tiny Occasion_322 Original Poster's Reply They are welcome on the boat. Even to borrow it.
    via u/Tiny_Occasion_322
  • Jumpy-Author-9878 NTA. Your children sound entitled. They can't be upset about money that wasn't even THEIRS, it was intended for their children, being if they had any. They also didn't know about it, so they shouldn't have been expecting anything. And lastly, if they wanted to have children, they should be responsible for saving for their education. But sounds like they just expect $$ from you. Don't love it. Though I could see that you love being a provider, and have done very well providing f
    via u/Jumpy-Author-9878
  • Tiny_Occasion_322 Original Poster's Reply The economy is tough. I lucked into a great career and saved most of my money. My wife was instrumental in that. I would probably have upgraded a long time ago if it wasn't for her.
    via u/Tiny_Occasion_322
  • 567Anonymous NTA. Not even a little bit. So long as your wife is "on board", with the boat thing, you should spend your money how you want. Honestly, a long illness can wipe out any inheritance anyway, so kids should never, ever count on one.
    via u/567Anonymous
  • Tiny Occasion_322 Original Poster's Reply I lost my wife a few years ago. But she was my constant companion on our old boat. More for sunbathing and entertaining than fishing.
    via u/Tiny_Occasion_322
  • A woman is sitting on a sailboat in the water
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • BionicGimpster I'm also financially secure. But since my kids were college age adults, I made clear to them that my goal was to live long enough that I bounce my last check (for those to young to understand - that means I will run out of money just before I die). I've put money aside for their kids' college, and have helped with houses, etc - but they knew from early on that they were expected to make their own way in the world and not count on anything from me. Anything I give is a gift, not so
    via u/BionicGimpster
  • Tiny_Occasion_322 Original Poster's Reply My dad says he is going to bounce the check for his funeral.
    via u/Tiny_Occasion_322
  • jdabXO NTA. I feel like your (adult) children are acting kind of entitled. You owe them nothing and your money can be used however you please, whether that be a gift to someone, a boat or anything in between. The fact you even considered giving them that money for their children in the first place is incredibly admirable. The age comment is weird too - a boat would be great at any time, but especially in later years during retirement.
    via u/jdabXO
  • Proud-Geek1019 Dude - you're two yrs older than me, and my spouse and I travel the world (mostly for concerts and sports), own a camper (it was a toss up between camper and boat!), and generally enjoy our life. Grown kids, no grands. Cant imagine any of my kids asking me to act like I'm 90, not enjoy the fruits of MY hard labor, just so they can squeeze an inheritance out of me. Sorry friend, but you have some seriously entitled kids. No one is owed jack.
    via u/Proud-Geek1019

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inheritance childless widower dad family education retirement boat adult children savings money
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